Dating is Part of Healing

We often feel like we need to heal completely before stepping into the dating world. Alongside this, there’s a heavy emphasis on becoming fully self-independent.

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with either idea, the TikTok culture often takes small truths and blows them into rigid, unshakable fads. I think it’s worth rooting this back into reality.

First, we can never exist in total independence. We are relational beings. Every moment of our lives, we’re in relationship with coworkers, neighbors, family, friends, society at large, and of course, partners.

And because of this, we don’t actually heal in isolation. We heal relationally. Sure, we can meditate alone for hours, but eventually the world will call us back in. That’s when our triggers resurface, our wounds get poked, and just as importantly, our progress shows itself. All of it happens in relation to others.

Second, in the pursuit of healing, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “perfecting” ourselves and expecting the same from others. We tell ourselves we’ll start dating once we’ve reached a state of total calm and control. But here’s the truth: that state doesn’t exist.

So don’t wait until you feel “fully healed” (there’s no such finish line) before opening yourself to connection. We’re not meant to bring a polished, perfect version of ourselves into relationships. We’re meant to bring our full humanity, including the messy, tender, and resilient parts.

Healing and self-reflection can exist alongside slowly and softly opening your heart to others. Trust your resilience. Trust the process.

💡 Journal Prompts to Explore:

1. Where have I seen my healing show up through my relationships with others?

2. What parts of myself am I most afraid of bringing into connection, and what might it feel like to let them be seen?