Relationships and the Feminine

Overview: Why the Feminine Matters

I’ve been thinking a lot about the feminine lately, especially how reconnecting with it can transform not only our inner world but also our relationships. When we allow space for softness, sensuality, and emotional presence, we open the door to deeper connection, more honest intimacy, and a kind of attunement that logic alone cannot offer.

But we live in a world that often misunderstands, devalues, or outright suppresses the feminine. This isn’t just about gender. It’s about energy. Everyone holds both masculine and feminine energies within us.

Masculine traits: logic, competitiveness, analytical thinking, problem-solving

Feminine traits: flow, creativity, nurturing, empathy, intuition

And yet, many of us, especially women, have had to shut down our feminine in order to survive, succeed, or be taken seriously. In doing so, we’ve lost access to vital parts of ourselves that are essential to love, connection, and emotional wellbeing.

1. Curbing the Feminine in the Workplace

As a manager in a fast-paced consulting firm working with too-big-to-fail banks, I learned quickly that emotional intelligence didn’t win you any points in the boardroom. The culture rewarded logic, speed, and performance. Every meeting felt critical.

I had to lead with my masculine traits: structure, sharpness, strategy.

This is the world many women navigate. To succeed, we often suppress the intuitive, emotionally attuned, nurturing parts of ourselves. We become fluent in spreadsheets and strategy decks, but begin to feel disconnected from our softness. From our bodies.

From our inner knowing. We are often left with little choice because the corporate world still emulates masculinity as success.

Unfortunately for many of us this mask of masculinity habitually extends into our personal lives. Even outside of the corporate world, we often find ourselves proving our worth in masculine terms.

We try to "sound smart." We double down on logic, facts and reason because that’s what gets validated. In the process, we lose touch with other forms of intelligence: the wisdom that comes from empathy, attunement, and presence.

Impact on Relationships

When we’re stuck in performance mode, it’s hard to switch into presence.

Relationships don’t thrive solely on logic or strategy. They thrive on emotional intimacy, softness, and presence. If we’ve learned to shut those parts off at work, they don’t just come rushing back home.

We may find ourselves emotionally distant with partners. Struggling to connect. Always “solving,” rarely “feeling” or just “listening”. A space in relationships where compassion, nurturing, loving kindness thrives can be healing for both partners.

Last year when I lost my dad, had my partner come to the table with bulleted lists of “ways to cope with grief”, I would’ve probably shut down. In those moments, I need him to access his feminine and offer me presence and space to feel without a narrative or correction. That’s powerful and in my opinion the highest form of intelligence.

2. Curbing the Feminine Through Sensuality and Sexuality

Another area where feminine energy is deeply suppressed is sensuality.

We live in a world where feminine sexual expression is controlled, judged, or misunderstood. There is no male equivalent for the word “slut.” There are double standards everywhere. Men walk around shirtless in summer without a second glance, while a woman’s bra strap, cleavage or absence of a bra becomes a topic of discussion.

Our society polices feminine energy, especially when it's expressed through the body.

Through clothing. Through movement. Through desire.

And this policing starts early. Many of us learn to associate sensuality with shame. To disconnect from our erotic selves in order to feel “safe” or “appropriate.” At that young age, being accepted in society is highly critical for survival. So we adapt. Shut parts of ourselves that are natural and need expression.

Yet in many spiritual traditions, sensuality is not shameful. It’s sacred. The sacral chakra, connected to our sexuality and creativity, is a source of life force. When we suppress it, we don't just lose pleasure. We lose power.

Impact on Relationships

When we’re disconnected from our sensual selves, we often struggle to feel fully present in intimate moments. It can show up as:

• Feeling numb or shut down during sex

• Being unable to recognize our own desires

• Associating pleasure with guilt or shame

• Seeing intimacy as a chore instead of a shared experience

Over time, this creates a subtle wall in the relationship. It’s not just about physical intimacy. It’s about the emotional safety required to be seen and received in your full feminine expression.

When we reclaim our sensuality, we don't just improve sex. We deepen trust, safety, and playfulness in an intimate relationship.

Coming Home to the Feminine

Reclaiming the feminine isn’t just a personal act. It’s relational, generational, and radical.

It brings softness back into places that have gone numb. It reawakens sensuality, creativity, and emotional depth.

For me, leaning into my feminine no longer feels like rebellion. It feels like coming home.