More Flow, Less Force

Feminine energy (unrelated to the gender you identify with) is associated with beauty, creativity, ease, and flow. If you would like to experience more of those in your life, then read on and uncouple from the idea of feminine being relevant to only women.

Often, the biggest changes happen through the simplest of steps. Here are three very simple ways I sprinkle this energy into my day.

1. The Unhurried Woman

I am specifying a gender here, but this applies to all humans.

I often notice women in the West moving through life in a hurry. Jaw clenched. Brow furrowed. Walking fast. Eyes already on the next thing before they've arrived at the one they're in. Bodies here. Minds elsewhere.

Somewhere along our adulthood, we were taught that we need to do everything as efficiently as possible.

Kind of saps the joy out of living, doesn't it?

Imagine someone told you that you could enjoy that decadent piece of cake you've been longing for, but only in the most efficient and surgical fashion. You would probably wonder what happened to the enjoyment.

That hurry. That rush. That drive to optimize every moment. Those are expressions of masculine energy.

Masculine energy has an important place in our lives, especially where clear thinking, structure, and problem-solving are needed. But many parts of living, like keeping a home, making food, getting dressed, or simply enjoying ourselves, do not require us to be in that mode all the time.

So where can you unhurry?

Can you notice your pace as you move from one room to another? Is there an opportunity to slow down?

As you switch from one task to the next, what energy are you carrying? One of "get it done," or one of "experiencing"? Maybe take a breath between tasks.

When you make yourself lunch or dinner, can you slow down and simply do one thing at a time?

For me, this is a daily practice. I catch myself rushing and ask, Do I really need to be rushing right now? The answer is usually no.

Not rushing does not mean lazing around. More often than not, it simply means moving with intention and awareness.

Are you aware of your body as you move through your day? Of your own pace? Of your own rhythm?

2. Beauty

I grew up thinking that beauty, and investing in it, was a sign of vanity. I somehow associated intelligence with declaring that I didn't care what I looked like.

Media certainly doesn't help. Hermione, for example, is portrayed as completely unconcerned with her appearance. Smart girls don't care how they look.

I call that bull.

Appreciating beauty and bringing more of it into our lives helps us appreciate the very bodies we rely on for every single thing we do. There is a reason we are drawn to beautiful art. The human eye enjoys beauty. It creates pleasure in our brain.

Can you take two extra minutes during your morning routine to get ready in a way that feels good to you?

For me, it might look like slowly brushing my hair instead of rushing through it. Taking an extra minute to put it into a simple style that makes me feel beautiful. Sometimes it means choosing an outfit that feels like me that day. Tiny rituals that quietly remind me that I am worthy of beauty too.

There is no doubt in my mind that putting a little intention into how I present myself changes how I feel.

If you carry stories about women who dress up or pay attention to their appearance, I invite you to explore where those stories came from.

3. Joy and Pleasure

This is one of the most overlooked buckets. We are taught to "earn" joy. Some traditions go as far as to shun pleasure.

We expect children to laugh with glee, wear colorful clothes, romp around, and delight in the world. Somehow, once you stop being a few feet tall, you're expected to behave differently.

That is often where our feminine gets shut out.

Feminine energy lives in pleasure and play. Pleasure not for someone else. Not for productivity. Not because it serves a purpose.

Simply for pleasure's sake.

Ask yourself:

What brings me joy?

What makes me lose track of time?

What makes my shoulders soften?

What adds a little more lightness to your day?'

What takes me out of "performance" and "efficiency" into "being"?

For many of us, these questions require exploration because we've been disconnected from this part of ourselves for a long time.

Can you remember what brought you joy before you felt the need to be productive all the time? Before every hobby needed a purpose or every moment needed to be useful?

Invite the child in you to rediscover the world with curiosity and delight.

It doesn't have to be complicated.

Here are a few ways I do this:

• When the opportunity presents itself, you can find me twirling. Yes, you read that right. For a few brief seconds, the world disappears. I feel light, giddy, and wonderfully unconcerned with how I look.

• Running with my puppy. His eyes alight. Mouth open. Tongue hanging out as though he wants to taste the whole world. Somewhere along the trail, my own hair flies loose, wild and free, and I find myself matching his exuberance. No matter how tired I am, running with him frees something inside me that I often didn't even realize had become constricted.

• Spending a few extra moments in bed instead of getting up instantly. There is something delicious about a soft waking. Lingering beneath the covers for just another minute. Stretching without urgency. Savoring the warmth before the day asks anything of me. It is such a small act, but it reminds my body that not every moment has to begin with rushing.

These practices sound simple for a reason.

They're meant to be.

You don't need an elaborate feminine morning routine or another checklist to complete. Otherwise, you've simply turned it into another task.

Tch tch... very masculine.

Feminine energy is ease. It is flow. It is something we can gently sprinkle throughout our days.