Things I’m Not Ashamed to Admit

I’m in my late 30s. Phew—time really flies. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the path my life has taken, with all its unexpected turns and pivots. And I know I’m not alone in realizing that life often ends up looking quite different from what we imagined.

So here are a few truths behind the somatic coach persona—ones that, I hope, help normalize being different and not having it all figured out.

1. I still find it hard to say no

Somatic work has helped, but saying no—especially when my presence or contribution is “expected”—still feels hard. I catch myself wanting to explain, to soften the no. Over time, I’ve been learning to say no (or negotiate a different outcome) while staying regulated in my nervous system. This stuff isn’t easy. It’s still a work in progress.

2. I like dogs more than humans

I didn’t grow up with dogs—in fact, I was scared of them. But over the years, they entered my life during times I deeply needed support, and my heart burst open. Their playful energy, their pure joy, their short but profound lifespans, the way they greet the world like it’s brand new... I’m in awe. I learn so much from them. My biggest wish? That every adopted dog is treated like family.

3. I don’t want kids

This has been a deep knowing since my teenage years. I don’t know where it came from, but I recognized early on that I didn’t share the same dreams many of my girlfriends had. No baby fever. No maternal instincts. Over time, I’ve made peace with this truth and what it means as my social circles evolve in different directions.

4. I worry about health—constantly

After personal losses tied to health conditions, I became hyper-aware of food safety and cleanliness. It’s a major anxiety trigger—one I have to work through daily. My life is shaped by extra vetting of products, very specific storage habits, and a deep distrust of certain ingredients. It’s more work, but it’s also how I care for myself. And yes, I’m still learning to wear this part of my personality without apologizing. I catch myself over-explaining when I say no to a snack with red or yellow dye.

Over the last few years I have given up alcohol, seltzer, store candy such as M&M, common ice cream brans such as Ben & Jerry's. It's hard to socialize and give things up!

5. My relationship with God is changing—and I don’t like it

I’ve always been more spiritual than religious. I was born into a Hindu family and joined a Buddhist organization in 2016 - now I am agnostically spiritual!

A few years ago, I had a consistent meditation and prayer practice that deeply nourished me. Then my dad fell sick, and everything shifted. I still talk to God every day—I share my fears, my gratitude, my questions. But it feels different now. The nourishment is... quieter. And while I support others in creating their own nourishing routines, I’m still figuring out what mine looks like right now. And that’s okay.

6. I have an anxious attachment style

It shows up in relationships, sure—but also in situations, outcomes, even plans. There's a persistent hum of worry: What if the other shoe drops? It takes conscious work to notice it, regulate through it, and not spiral. Some days I catch it early. Some days I don’t. And that leads me to...

7. I’m not okay, and it seems like everyone else is

This thought still sneaks in when I’m spiraling. And if you’ve ever felt that—whether scrolling social media or looking around at people in your life—I won’t tell you to stop comparing. That’s just how our brains are wired.

But I will ask you to consider this: maybe everyone is okay and not okay. At the same time. In different ways. We all have areas where we’re thriving and others where we’re struggling. “Not okay” moments don’t mean you’re broken. They’re just part of the experience. Growth is not linear. And you don’t get to skip the messy parts. So if you are constantly growing and are not stagnant, you will hit the "I am not okay" parts. Most healers and therapists have had to hold space for their "I am not okay" moments, to be able to do that for others.

I don’t know if this post will land with everyone, but I’m sure it’ll hit home for someone.

We’re all figuring it out as we go. And maybe—just maybe—if we dropped the pressure to “keep it together” and instead showed up in our full, messy humanness, the world would be a softer, kinder place.