What are you talking about?

It’s Not Just Talk

There’s a famous quote often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt:

“Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas.”

Over the years, I’ve come to see a version of this that feels more aligned with where I am in my journey:

“Small minds discuss people. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss wisdom.”

Wisdom, of course, is a deeply personal pursuit. For me, it lives in the words of teachers like Radhanath Swami, Keshava Swami, and Ram Dass. For someone else, it might be a podcast with a visionary entrepreneur or a moving TED Talk. But no matter where we find it, what we choose to listen to—and who we choose to listen with—shapes our inner world more than we realize.

Oops, That Was Gossip

In the past few weeks, I noticed a quiet but meaningful shift in my own conversations. I was talking more about people. Accompanying that shift was a creeping sense of judgment—of evaluating others’ choices in comparison to my own. It was so subtle that I might have missed it altogether, but thanks to my meditation practice, I could feel the difference.

I noticed the texture of my thoughts had changed—less spacious, less kind.

It reminded me how easy it is to let our minds slip into critique, commentary, or even quiet superiority. And how tempting it is to fill the silence by discussing someone else’s life.

Over the years, I’ve come to see how unproductive that is. Not because it’s morally wrong, but because it takes up precious mental real estate. Time and energy that could be used to strengthen our clarity, vision, and wellbeing gets scattered into stories about others.

The Vedas often speak to this through the lens of manasa shuddhi—the purification of the mind. And what better way to begin that purification than to fill our mental space with thoughts aligned with our growth?

Gossip Is Junk Food for the Mind

In Ayurveda, we often talk about food as the first form of nourishment. But what we don’t talk about enough is the diet of the mind. Conversations, media, environments—these are all forms of intake. If you spend your days around cynicism, gossip, and hustle culture, it’s only natural to feel depleted or scattered. So stop discussing "who did what", "who wore what", "who said what".

On the other hand, being around people who talk about ideas, values, alignment, and joy—it changes you. You start feeding your mind clarity, possibility, peace.

And science backs this up. A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who spent more time engaging in meaningful conversations reported greater well-being than those whose interactions were primarily small talk.

Another 2020 study in Nature Communications found that the emotional tone of our conversations can influence our brain’s resting state—literally shaping how we process the world even after the conversation ends.

What we talk about matters. Who we talk to matters. These inputs are mental nutrition.

The Domino Effect of the Right Company

Recently, I reconnected with a classmate from my Ayurveda training. Our conversations weren’t “about wellness”—they were wellness. Gently, almost imperceptibly, my attention shifted. Practices I’d dropped somewhere along the way—abhyanga, eye wash, warm teas—came back. Not as obligations, but as invitations. It’s as if my body remembered how good it felt to be taken care of, and my mind followed suit.

It made me reflect: had anything else changed? Not really. Just the company I was keeping.

So, What Are You Feeding Your Mind?

It’s a simple question, but a powerful one. When you step back and observe:

• Who are you talking to most often?

• What kind of topics energize those conversations?

• Do they leave you feeling nourished or numb?

You don’t have to overhaul your life or cut people out. But perhaps you can add more of what uplifts you. Maybe it’s calling that friend who reminds you of your center. Or putting on a talk that sparks insight instead of scrolling aimlessly. Maybe it’s just noticing how your body feels after a conversation.

The inputs matter. Not just the food on your plate, but the words in your ears. The company you keep is the climate your inner world adapts to. And you deserve a climate where you can bloom.